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I really did like you, I just couldn’t commit at that point. I’m still not ready to make any kind of commitment like you wanted to anyone.”Though I was going to be ready once Kara graduated and moved to Chicago, which wasn’t all that far in the future. Dona was quiet for a minute, as if she was thinking about how to respond.She sighed, “I pushed too hard, too fast, I guess. Both on the sex and on commitment. You really surprised me with how good you were. Because of how you behaved, I honestly thought you were a virgin. I found out later you had a bit of a reputation. Some of the girls said you were quite the good screw. I knew that to be true, but wondered how they knew. They just told me they heard it from one of your girlfriends.”“Melanie or Jennifer, probably. They thought it was funny to brag about me.”“Well, considering how good it was, you can brag, I guess. I really owe you an apology for basically dragging you into bed without considering what you thought. But look at it. Susan begged me to be kinder to Amanda and ended her email by adding that she really believed that Amanda thought what she was doing was for both our benefits and begged me to call Amanda for a chat if I still cared about her to help her through her depression.That evening I sat down and composed a long email in which I explained all my feelings, the betrayal, the sickness in my stomach and how I hated her and myself for letting it happen, I reminded her how I had accepted the initial blame for the start of her affair with Jerry and how I could have let that go and started afresh but although I still loved her with a passion I could not see us getting on the right road again, I ended the email by reminding her that she was strong enough to get her life back on track and how I would always support her when she needed me as I signed off the email I was crying.The next day there was no reply from Amanda and none again the following day, on the 3rd day she had sent a email saying she was.
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